Boxes, Tacos, and Rum

I promised Amanda (TheMomJob) a blog last night, but I never got to it... so here it is. Admittedly, it has been too long since my last post. I'll try to make it worth it, but I can't make any promises because - well, I read over the draft that I saved last night, & it's just not pretty. See, I had a master plan to drink & pack all night, but I got interrupted.

That's right, kids, I'm moving.

I hate that I won't be able to give you more stories on Living With The Ex. However, I do *NOT* hate that I will no longer be Living With The Ex. The past month & a half had actually not been all that unpleasant, given that one of us could've killed the other (& one of us might have maybe considered it - just a little). There were rollercoaster moments, sure. Ever the optimist, I tried to make the best of it. Until....

The past few weeks have been getting worse & worse, but this week was nothing short of hellacious. Seriously - Week. From. Hell. It all came to a head on Wednesday when Jackass picked up my phone & went through my texts while I was in the shower. I know what you're thinking. Clearly, I asked for him to snoop by leaving my phone in a common area, no? He discovered some things that made him rather, ah, unhappy. I'll spare you the gorier details (& some of the good ones too, but I can't give away EVERYTHING just yet), but know this: No day is a good day when you're yelled at, called a lying whore, & told that you have a week to move everything you own - all before 9 AM. It's especially bad when you then hear from your boss that your First Choice Escape Plan isn't going to happen. If there was any night I should've been drinking, it was Wednesday. Instead...

Back to the drawing board.

Since then, I've formulated a plan that is already set in motion. My friend/hairdresser Hunter is The Best Ever, & his girlfriend is pretty awesome too - you know, since there's a chick that she doesn't know all that well that's OH BY THE WAY moving in with her boyfriend. It helps that I might just curl up & DIE laughing if anyone suggested there was anything between Hunter & me. So... in a few days I'll have a new awesome roommate. Who can make my hair look prettyful - every day, if I can talk him into it. (Side note: I canNOT do this. My hair does less than nothing on its own.) Who also has an equally awesome girlfriend that can do the same thing. And they both have a killer sense of humor. Needless to say, I'm excited! Oh, & I got to call The Ex a prude in another big blowout fight, which was pretty fun. Any time you get the chance to call someone a prude, do it. Tell me it's not fun, & you're lying.

So there I was last night, eating Taco Bell & drinking 32 ounces of happiness - Captain Morgan Private Stock & Diet Pepsi. I was well on my way to drunk, & quite happy about it. Cleaning off the bookshelf & shoving books into boxes. Discovering Chihuahua pee that ruined 6 of my hardbacks (to be replaced by The Ex - or else). Gleefully preparing for the fun times ahead with my roommate plus one.

And then Jackass walked in the door.

SIGH.

More drinking & packing fun to follow today/tonight - I'll let you know how it goes.